Blindfolded, Dizzy, and Missing the Pinata Tuesday, Apr 27 2004 

5. Sophomore Year and La Vie Antérieure Lucy B. 9:46 pm

:: 2004 27 April :: 7.53 pm
:: Mood: wounded
:: Music: Nancy Sinatra, Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)
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Dr. Flanagan kidnapped my blazer from ma maison (the cardboard box lost and found in the kfac hallway) and eyeballed me at dinner before clearing his throat and briefly addressing the notes found in the pocket, which apparently depicted nazi eagles dropping poisoned gas onto some poor, poor profoundly retarded children. accredit clever swastika cartoons to ben.

ben and lucy have fallen onto the floor like a tray of champagne flutes. we need so much healing, namely concerning and maybe from eachother, but that could take me a lot of time. i feel something like loneliness.

we don’t have a lot of time.

honesty: a question.

 

Drip. Drip. Drip. This is Not the Sound of an I.V. Wednesday, Apr 21 2004 

5. Sophomore Year and La Vie Antérieure Lucy B. 9:46 pm

:: 2004 21 April :: 8.31 pm
:: Mood: warm
:: Music: Wilco, Pieholden Suite
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effectively, i just punched myself in the face.

i dragged myself out of the shower a few minutes ago; i came in five minutes late, soaked to the bone and freezing cold, the definition of bedraggled. i could barely peel my clothes off, and as soon as i found enough layers of sweatpants and cotton, i curled up under my comforter to hear the rain pelting ellsworth like a truckload of gravel. i plan to remain here all evening, and realize that this will piss mrs. horgan off.

 

Everything Up in the Air- and One in the Flower Bed Sunday, Apr 18 2004 

5. Sophomore Year and La Vie Antérieure Lucy B. 9:45 pm

:: 2004 18 April :: 9.58 am
:: Music: Blonde Redhead, Misery is a Butterfly
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i’m deciding whether it’s going to be sunny today or not; i have a feeling that either i will affect the weather or it will affect me.

i tried to be cheery and clearheaded but the two hours sitting alone in the art room with ms. steffens did not encourage anything but some tail-between-the-legs and a vague sense of loneliness.

i begin: andy is gone. this has been the longest week i can remember, seven days since easter and years since thursday. carl, emmet and i tried so hard to make a difference, and in the end we did- flanagan wanted him to stay. but his dad came yesterday afternoon and drove him home; running barefoot across campus trying to find him to say goodbye. i guess we should be proud that we were able to help andy, and i am- but i miss him. and i feel a little regretful that emmet and i never really got through until it was almost too late. next year, things will be different. anyways, seeing the two of them so far apart and still fighting it is reassuring. i’ve got a lot of faith that they will be together again.

the boys of college played shirtless frisbee and the pinecone balls poked the arches of my feet. we left ben on the brick wall of ellsworth for milkshakes.

i was sitting in a tree in the middle of the kfac cul-de-sac and i fell out of the branches into a big patch of daffodils. then emmet went home and it began to rain; amy took jeremy, carl, peter, margaret, will, and possibly matt merhar to yaki’s.

carl and i went to mary and ted’s and ate mozerella sticks as freshman in blue button-downs held hands with their Sadie’s dates.

it was a day.


 

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